hi world. hello emo kid in me.
i guess nobody reads my blog and henceforth, i guess i am not in any responsibility to entertain.
haha, yeah, the only reason why i could be blogging is that my emo kid personality is surfacing.
i realise the reason why i am having so many thoughts is that i am experiencing changes. too many that i no longer know how to deal with them anymore. First it was after poly exams that i have officially stepped into the workforce. audit brought me to different people and places, exposing how we all want things to be in our control so bad that we do whatever it is possible to meet deadlines. everything happened so fast but i have unknowingly made good friends along the way. then, it was me getting rejected by local universities and have to head straight to aussie to study. another change took place whereby i am not even sure of my place of residence and yet have to deal with challenges of their education syllabus and living without parents. and now, after this phase is coming to an end, i feel it is going to take another major turn again whereby i will be working in an audit firm with a totally new environment and people. after which, i will be back here again, prolly with a change of friends because everyone seems to know what they are taking and we might have different routes and ambitions to pursue.
This uncertainty is freaking me out so bad. i know change is the only constant but i never thought it would change this fast, so fast that i couldnt even get to appreciate friendships fully and not being able to know what i am doing anymore. its a pity that i realise that it is not within me to do anything to stabilize forces this late. i have been trying too hard to keep things the way they are. when things keep rubbing against your efforts, you have no choice but to surrender to fate and admit that yes, there is nothing you can do anymore.
"Let it go and see if all the humiliation, loneliness and or heartbreaks break you. if they ever will and do, pick it up all over again. you might be stronger then." yes, lets see.
If people are able to use 1st dimension of power that coincides with fate's 2nd dimension of power, i am uncontrollably under 3rd dimension of power.
i guess nobody reads my blog and henceforth, i guess i am not in any responsibility to entertain.
haha, yeah, the only reason why i could be blogging is that my emo kid personality is surfacing.
i realise the reason why i am having so many thoughts is that i am experiencing changes. too many that i no longer know how to deal with them anymore. First it was after poly exams that i have officially stepped into the workforce. audit brought me to different people and places, exposing how we all want things to be in our control so bad that we do whatever it is possible to meet deadlines. everything happened so fast but i have unknowingly made good friends along the way. then, it was me getting rejected by local universities and have to head straight to aussie to study. another change took place whereby i am not even sure of my place of residence and yet have to deal with challenges of their education syllabus and living without parents. and now, after this phase is coming to an end, i feel it is going to take another major turn again whereby i will be working in an audit firm with a totally new environment and people. after which, i will be back here again, prolly with a change of friends because everyone seems to know what they are taking and we might have different routes and ambitions to pursue.
This uncertainty is freaking me out so bad. i know change is the only constant but i never thought it would change this fast, so fast that i couldnt even get to appreciate friendships fully and not being able to know what i am doing anymore. its a pity that i realise that it is not within me to do anything to stabilize forces this late. i have been trying too hard to keep things the way they are. when things keep rubbing against your efforts, you have no choice but to surrender to fate and admit that yes, there is nothing you can do anymore.
"Let it go and see if all the humiliation, loneliness and or heartbreaks break you. if they ever will and do, pick it up all over again. you might be stronger then." yes, lets see.
If people are able to use 1st dimension of power that coincides with fate's 2nd dimension of power, i am uncontrollably under 3rd dimension of power.